Friday, November 21, 2014

White Zombie - Creature of the Wheel

0:00 mark.

Without a doubt the heaviest riff in the bands discography (Feed The Gods is a close second though). White Zombie went through a strange metamorphosis from their early beginnings as a New York City noise rock act to one of the biggest names in 90's mainstream heavy metal. 

This riff is obviously a product of spending far too much time with Pantera. This thick slab of riffage is sandwiched between samples from The Omega Man. Which is appropriate because you will get the sudden urge to roam the streets at night shooting members of "The Family". Well...not the family from the movie, members of someone's family. Maybe your own actually, nothing says domestic homicide like the first 28 seconds of this song, except for the riff that kicks in at the 0:29 mark, that is.

Bonus Riff time!

Two for the price of one! Don't say I never gave you anything.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Pegasus - In My Fright

2:04 mark.

Arthur Rizk is a busy man. But when he isn't producing records for Inquisition or Power Trip, he is writing riffs that make you want to curb stomp your dearest friends and relatives.

Most people know him from War Hungry, but he plays in and records with several other bands as well and one of those is Pegasus. Made up mostly of members of Cold World, the band obviously worships the ground A.J. Novello and Leeway walk on. The vocals are a dead give away with their Eddie Sutton influence and the riffs are hard as nails. 

This particular riff is the sound of a butter churn full of human skulls. It is so evil it has come for your soul and virginity at the same time. It is a team of horses dragging your legless body through a minefield. It is a ride down a flight of stairs in a wheelchair. 

Renew your insurance policy and take a listen.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Nazareth - Miss Misery

2:07 mark

Long before Axl Rose thought it was a good idea and then made it a very unlikable thing, Dan McCafferty spent his Thanksgiving Dinners at Scottish pubs, eating hearty heapin’ helpins of Marlboro Reds san filters and bags of fucking rocks

I mean that’s pretty awesome, I linked the song for you at the exact part where he goes “HEY,” right at the beginning of the bridge, you can listen to it over and over, or to the same effect, you can listen to an old man attempt to start a gas-powered chainsaw

It’s so awesome you barely notice the 90% probability that Tony Iommi wrote this motherfucker

Actually, half the songs on this album were written by other people. Guilty was written by Randy Newman, Love Hurts is an Everly Brothers cover, Rose in the Heather was written by Nils Lofgren, and Changin’ Times is obviously fucking Black Dog

This is the only Nazareth album I like and they barely wrote it

Monday, November 17, 2014

Yawning Man - Digital Smoke Signal

0:14 mark.

When I bite into a york peppermint pattie, I get the sensation THAT I AM SLOWLY DRIFTING THROUGH SPACE TOWARDS AN INFINITE ABYSS WITHOUT A CARE IN THE WORLD...OR THE UNIVERSE FOR THAT MATTER. Oh wait, that not when I bite into a piece of candy, that's what happens when this riff kicks in. 

Soaring along for almost 7 minutes, this acid soaked jam fest will leave you unconscious in the middle of the Palm Desert, shirtless and sun scorched. It's a full on peyote trip, a psychedelic journey that you will want to put on repeat and stare into the sky.

It's the soundtrack of a western, if the lead character did nothing but slowly ride into the distance for an hour and forty minutes. 

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Suppression - Subservient Fuck / The Blood of Millions / Genocide Policy

0:42 mark. (Disclaimer: actual riff from The Blood of Millions, all versions of this song come packaged with the song preceding it and/or following it. The band even play them like that live and introduce it as one song.)

Grind and power violence are the sub basement of the extreme music genres. Dirty, filthy, dark, a place where few choose to spend their time. No matter what your take on it, the one unanimous opinion is that it has to be pissed off. Prepare for urine to pour from your speakers. Bass tuned so low the strings might fall off the guitar. The feedback escaping from every orifice of the amplifiers is such an aural assault that you may burst an ear drum.

The vocals are practically vomited into the microphone in the form of a visceral warcry which makes hair stand on end and leaves the listener trembling in fear. 

The layer of filth that coats this recording couldn't be cleaned up with the strongest of chemical cleaners, in fact it would turn any cleaning agent applied to it into mustard gas and kill everything around it.

So in the end you will be asphyxiated by the caustic fumes pouring from this toxic slab of noise like smoke billowing from a house fire. 

Make sure your affairs are in order before pressing play.

Suppression / Cripple Bastards Split LP (part 2)

Note: The band currently performs as a two piece and they are intense, as a bonus here is a live set from this year.

Suppression - Live in NC 06/2014

Friday, November 14, 2014

Akercocke - Enraptured by Evil

:08 mark








Akercocke is what the ladies call me

What is her butt doing

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Seven Sisters of Sleep - Almighty Black Talons

1:36 mark.

The concept of being crushed to death is not the most appealing way one could imagine to die, to be sure. Why you would want to up the ante so to speak is beyond rational thought, but being crushed to death BY A MOUNTAIN OF LOOSE ROCK is what you can expect for the next 3 minutes and 23 seconds.

An endless avalanche of limestone, pouring over your body. Suffocating clouds of dust fill your lungs as your body is constricted ever tighter as the pile grows in size to mammoth proportions. Joints begin to shudder and bones splinter in the vice of earth's grip, your body being slowly returned to its creator.

With a final gasp, the last of the air escapes your contracted lungs and your skull is compacted to dust. Your remaining organs are squeezed out through your neck like a tube of toothpaste and the circle of life is complete.

Listen to Seven Sisters of Sleep/Children of God Split
Listen to Seven Sisters of Sleep - Opium Morals LP

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Adorior - Birth of Disease

2:17 mark

Well fuck your Eurogoth pancake fiesta, check this blob of angry out

You like that riff, yeah, you like it for another three minutes while the drummer does different stuff to it, or the guitars throw in an occasional palm mute, shit's like theme and variation in classical music, or whateva

That's a chick singing, she's probably one of the nuns on the album cover

blastblastblastblastblastblastblast the devil's balls just unceremoniously rested themselves upon your shoulder

I was almost invited to a Eurogoth pancake fiesta once

D.R.I. - Beneath The Wheel

0:44 mark.

Picture this, it is 1989 and you are in middle school. Every day for the last few months you have been harassed/beaten up by the same two neanderthal's at the bus stop. "Hey nerd" this and "Give me your lunch money" that. You are in no real position to stop them, you weigh 70 pounds soaking wet and you're lucky they haven't smashed your glasses yet.

One morning you are getting ready for school, a look of anxiety and yesterdays shiner on your face. Your old brother coming down the stairs, notices this and tells you to hold on a minute. He returns minutes later with his walkman and a beat up tin He-man lunch box. You give him a puzzled look as he bends down and whispers in your ear. A slight smirk slowly appears in the corner of your mouth as you process the information that your sibling is bestowing upon you.

As you make your way to the bus stop, headphones around your neck and lunchbox in tow, you make a pit-stop at a neighbors driveway and scoop copious amounts of gravel into the He-man lunch box. Later, as the two hulking jocks approach, you place the headphones over your ears and press play. 

Already positioned at track two, the buzzsaw of Spike Cassidy's guitar signals your warcry as you feel a hand gasp your shoulder. Whirling around with quickness, you swing the lunch box with all your might as it crashes into the waiting, drooling jaw of your aggressor. Blood and gravel fly through the air as you connect with a second swing to the back of his comrades head. Seconds later you stand exhausted and triumphant, gravel and goons spread across the sidewalk and Kurt Brecht bellowing in your ear. The bus arrives as a smile washes over your face and the riff consumes you once again.

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

The Melvins - Joan of Arc

0:45 mark.

Moss in the morning may refer to any number of things, who really knows. 

My theory is that it is a reference to Buzz Osbourne waking up in an abandoned building, shaking the bugs out of the fuzz mop attached to his head and lighting a 3 foot long joint rolled in newspaper and unleashing a cloud of smoke that can be seen from space. 

Hyperbole? Maybe, but don't come crying to me when you're in traction after being run down by a hemp powered 1960 VW van with a shirtless Mr Osbourne hanging from the window screaming MOSS IN THE MORNING MIGHT BE WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! 

Anthrax - I Am The Law

1:00 mark


Joey Belladonna just knocked at your door, he wanted to know if you knew about the good word of Judge Dredd
He didn't wait for you to answer so he just started singing it to you anyway

While you were listening to him be an awesome vocalist, that garden gnome Scott Ian snuck into your bathroom and collected all the beard shavings around your sink, more on that later

OH MY FUCK IS THAT A BASS IN THE MIX, Jason Newsted just was like, "hey yo waitamin"

You sullen because all the Captain Crunch is missing from your kitchen? Check the guitar amps. CAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNCHHHHHHH

Scott Ian's goatee is massive now thanks to your shaving scum contribution